Man Haters' Club
by Necrocora
Summary: Ginny and Frenchy spend their time luring the guys from Hogwarts into their clutches then making them miserable. Their new target is Draco, and things don't go as planned. *Rated PG-13 for sexual humor and profanity**Chapter 4 up!*
1. The New Target

A/N Well this is my new story and I hope you guys like it.  It isn't as crazy as Revenge of the Fools, or at least it isn't yet, but it will be just as funny.  Don't worry, if you didn't find this chapter funny that's fine because there's going to be some hilarious stuff to come, and I not telling any of you.  ANY OF YOU!!!!  Okay yada yada yada.  The usual I AM NOT J.K. ROWLING SO DO NOT TAKE ANY OF THIS MATERIAL SERIOUSLY REGARDING THE HARRY POTTER SERIES.  I said something like that last time, but I can't remember what it was.  Anyway, enjoy!!!

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"What the HECK am I going to do?"

Ginny said this to her roommate, Frenchy, as she stood in front of the full length mirror and frowned convulsively at the swollen mosquito bite on her cheek right next to the bridge of her nose.  It was gigantic and was well long from being white and was now becoming a shade of splotchy red.  And in the middle of that splatter of red was a gigantic bump.  It glowed against all the black and white fabrics of the clothes scattered all over the floor and matched the red of her layers of hair.  

Although the dorm room was for four people it seemed primarily occupied by Ginny because it was her stuff that was all over the floor and she was the only one who spent a long time in there except for the times when she went to classes and Hogsmeade.  It was considered the headquarters of the 'matchmakers' since Ginny get together with Frenchy and contemplated how to make the guys they were dated miserable.  Then again, business was getting rather low for them now that most of the guys in Hogwarts were afraid of even going near them.  It was really lucky for them that they now knew because if they didn't know by now they would be in for some serious trouble.  Since the last 'break-up' Ginny's torturous tactics had become even more defined and wild. 

But for the moment if Ginny was to pick up another male to torture anytime soon then she was going to need to either get rid of the mutilating bite right then and there or stay in her room to avoid anyone having memories of her disgusting face.

"Hmm…mmmmmm." 

Frenchy mumbled, not really paying attention the crisis at hand.  Her left cheek was pressed heavily against the pillow.  Even though her hazel flecked eyes were opened they weren't focusing on anything except for the split second after she had to blink before her eyes became too irritated to see.  

Like Ginny, Frenchy was good looking by nature, but was like a chameleon, never looking the same.  It wasn't like she was changing her face with magic, more that it had a different character with the different clothes she wore.  This feature helped her dramatically because no one really recognized her so she was able to take down any guy she wanted to without him being suspicious about her motives.  Her hair spilled past her shoulders looking like she had just waken up, but really in reality she hadn't brushed her hair since the year 2000.  Unlike Ginny she had no visible hips and it was impossible to determine whether she was thin or chubby.  Her fingernails were jagged from the biting and weren't painted.  Not one single feature if standing alone would've looked good but put together for her face she looked good.  The one feature that did look considerably good was her lips which looked normal until she smiled her killer smile.  As much time as she spent being a seductress she didn't actually have to attitude of one.  Most of the time her words were incomprehensible because she was half asleep, and she acted wild.  This was the complete opposite of Ginny, who insisted on being alert and looking good the whole time.  They balanced each other out, in attitudes, but that didn't mean that they were best buds.  On the contrary in fact, they despised each other but had made the mistake of deciding to dorm together.  Frenchy would've moved out long ago, but the only spot available was in the same dorm room as Lena, who was like a mini-me of Hermione, except not part of the Dream Team.  Frenchy at least had something in common with Ginny, so it made it at least almost bearable.      

Frenchy was still laying with her cheek pressed into the pillow when Ginny turned around.  With her looks on the line Ginny wasn't in a very good mood, in fact, she was going into on of those Weasley tempers.    Even if Frenchy was part of her male torture group it didn't stop her from being angry about her unhelpfulness.  Ginny scowled at the brunette laying on the overly pillowed bed and took about two seconds to whack the cheek that wasn't buried in the pillows.  

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!"  Frenchy screeched as she jerked up and kicked her foot up instinctively not really expecting for it to hit anything, but her foot came into contact with something.

"FUCK!!!!! FUCK!!!! FUCK!!!!FUCK!!!!!  DAMN, FRENCHY, I'M LUCKY I'M NOT A GUY. YOU'RE LUCKY I'M NOT A GUY!  OR ELSE I'M SURE YOU'D BE A PULP RIGHT NOW!!!!"

Ginny hopped around on both feet with an expression of pure pain.  Her eyes were all scrunched up and she looked like a bunny or something of the likes.  Frenchy liked it when Ginny was in pain because the bunny look made her laugh her head off.  Of course, not out loud, because she wasn't entirely sure if Ginny was joking about beating her to a pulp or not.  So as Ginny continued her hilarious bunny hop Frenchy pulled herself into a sitting position and watched Ginny with blank eyes. 

"Maybe you should do that more often, it makes you look so funny."  Frenchy said in the same blank drowsy voice that was almost incomprehensible

"Ha ha, very funny." 

 Ginny growled and tried to come forward again but she slammed into Frenchy's dresser.  It toppled over and all its contents flew around the room and covered all of Ginny's stuff.  There was a collection of Fred and George's joke stuff and candy's along with two pairs of jeans that looked as if they were quilted because of all the patches, army pattern shirts in all colors, and a black hoody, along with the required robes and uniform.  It was obvious that these clothes were the ones that Frenchy was going to wear all year and were only going to be kept wearable and clean by magic.  If Frenchy hadn't been a witch she would've been doomed to wear the school uniform that whole time, which she basically didn't wear, even during school.  

Ginny finally stopped hopping and fell over onto her bed in exhaustion, making a dramatic attempt at looking resigned.  Ginny was not the kind of person who resigns though, so this look was obviously fake.

Frenchy looked at the room and performed a cleaning spell, separating Ginny's clothes and her clothes and moving her dresser back to its place.  Ginny glanced over and muttered something that was inaudible before sitting up again and perfecting her hair again.

"You know that is the fourth time you've kicked me there today.  I'm going to seriously have to go ask Madame Pomfrey if I'm really a girl or not because I don't know many girls who get kicked right where balls should be."  There was a long pause as Ginny pulled her hair up into a ponytail, hiding the shag.  

"I don't think many guys form a Man Haters Club."  Frenchy pointed out as she leaned back onto her pillows, sucking on a sugar quill.

"Too true, so you have anyone new in mind?"  Ginny asked idly as she took out her long list of guys they had made miserable, which was getting considerably long.  She scanned the list as Frenchy was forming her answer.  The list included the all famous Harry Potter who they had scared away early on by telling him how to get rid of his warts, which were in rather interesting place, in front of the whole school.  Ron was also on the list but Ginny hadn't actually gone out with him obviously because she was his sister, but she had strongly endorsed the idea.  Frenchy had done something truly awful to him, what Frenchy did she was yet to find out, but Ron was so afraid of Frenchy now that he wouldn't be found within the 200 yard radius around her.  

Frenchy played with her tongue a bit before answering in her unpronounced voice.  

"I think we should do Draco Malfoy now." 

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A/N I know it ends of kind of how it ended off in revenge of the fools but that 's okay!!!  I have to introduce Malfoy somehow since he isn't the main character.  And I have to bring him in early on or else the story isn't as fun.  Get ready for Malfoy!!!  But I don't think he'll be slobbering in this one.  Please review!!!!!


	2. The Worst Case Scenario

A/N This chapter basically is an extension of the first chapter.  Nothings new really except for mentions of new characters.  I'm starting to make up my own characters more.  If you find people with Tourette funny the next chapter is going to be a scream.  

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For the first time in their history of being in the same dorm as one another they actually agreed on something, other than the Man Haters' Club.  Even though Ginny was surprised at Frenchy's suggestion it would be a hell of a lot of fun.  Not only was Draco one of the richest guys in school but he had a reputation of being a hell raiser himself, which would make making him miserable a challenge.  He did tend to fight back.  The only problems with this proposition were the little obstacles, Pansy and the other being his current girlfriend, Brenna.  Now you would think that Draco would've gotten rid of Pansy already, but she proved to be impossible to remove.  It was becoming visible that he was getting annoyed with her.  Luckily during one of his 'piss of' sessions with Pansy he had met Brenna.  Pansy of course had been wildly jealous but Brenna didn't much care if Pansy hung around making sure that Draco never got close to snogging Brenna.  Pansy came up with a variety of ways to stop them, never repeating the same way.

Of course it didn't matter much to Ginny and Frenchy that he had a girlfriend.  Several of the guys they had done before had had girlfriends.  It just increased the challenge of luring them in, which was a welcome change from all the single guys they had recently done.

Ginny bit her lip thoughtfully, he would be perfect.  But with the mosquito bite and the problem of getting rid of his girlfriend the idea had to be thought over carefully.  It wasn't obvious how to get Draco away from Pansy and Brenna long enough to start pulling him in.   She pulled her legs into a loose Indian pose on top of the bead and stared at red line at the horizon, it was piercing against the glittering black of the sky.

"How're we going to get rid of Brenna and Pansy?"

Frenchy laughed, throwing her head back, but didn't bother to explain further.  Ginny turned her head away and waited for the answer to come.  

"Brenna isn't much of a problem.  She just broke up with Draco."

That was a surprise, Ginny's eyes widened, making her pupils dilate in the weak light.  They seemed to get along pretty well.  Then again, it must've been a pain to have Pansy following her around the whole entire year. 

"When?  I never heard about it."  

Frenchy's mouth opened in a perfect O as she rolled her eyes at Ginny's clueless ness.  Somebody obviously didn't get out much.  This was true particularly for 5th year since she had to study for OWLS.  Although, actually she didn't do the work she was supposed to, she made the grades by stealing papers off of previous boyfriends.  That was yet another positive effect of getting around as much as she did.  The down part of stealing people's papers was that she had to personalize them and rewrite them, which is what took so much time.  

"He dumped her yesterday, after the end of year dance announcements."

"That's harsh."  Ginny bunched her face together in mock pain.  "Shouldn't that be a problem?  I mean most people stalk their boyfriends after they dump them, it's like their obsessed with the idea that there is someone else."

Ginny laughed at that one.

"There is ALWAYS someone else."

"Yeah, but we're talking Slytherins here, a big happy family FULL of Slytherins. People don't get into Slytherin for no reason, they don't stalk, they take things into they're own hands."

"So, what, she's going to set his boxers on fire?"

"It's not proven that he wears boxers, he could wear briefs."

"I'd rather think that he wears boxers, I refuse to have relations with guys who wear briefs."

"This isn't the topic."

Ginny scowled and made a mental note to get into the name discussion in public.  If there was any way to shut Frenchy up it was to make fun of her name.  The story was that her parents were on vacation in France when Frenchy was born.  It wasn't really clear why they went to France, they hated France.  They said that the only good things that came from France were FRENCH FRIES, the Long John Silver's Shrimp endorsement puppet, and Frenchy.  It really wasn't that embarrassing but when you threw in the extent of her parent's obsession of making her room look like France, complete with a stuffed Eiffel Tower that went up to the ceiling.  No one was supposed to know that. 

Frenchy continued speaking.  "No, she isn't going to set his boxers on fire.  I think she's going to help us."

Ginny's jaw dropped.  "As much as I like making people miserable there is no way that we are going to having anything to do with a Slytherin.  I draw the line here!!!"  She stood up and started going into her famous fits.

Frenchy looked up in disinterest.  "Oh, shut up."

"YOU'RE TELLING ME TO SHUT UP?!"  Ginny looked shocked.

That was the last straw for Frenchy who was now officially pissed off.  "YEAH, I'M TELLING YOU TO SHUT UP!  BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T YOU'RE GOING TO HVE TO SERIOUSLY HAVE TO QUESTION IF YOU ARE A GUY OR NOT!  YOU WANT TO DO HIM OR NOT?  DO YOU?  HUH?  HUH?"

"Yeah, I want to do him."  Ginny admitted.  Even though Frenchy had a way of knowing all the ways of pissing her off she at least know what Ginny wanted.  That made it easier for her to admit that she wanted to do it.  After all they were in this thing together, and if they had to add in a Slytherin to help them, well, so be it.  Ginny grimaced in distaste at the idea but didn't say anything else.  All that she could hope for was that Brenna was better than the other Slytherins.  Although Ginny was pretty sure that Brenna wasn't going to be like Pansy, Pansy was the worst case scenario, not many girls were that bad.  

"Good, cause we're going to run into her now.  Get where I'm going?"  Frenchy walked over to the dresser and pulled out her black hoodie.  She tied it around her waist letting the hood fall over the caption written in big white letters that said 'Tends to have serious roadrage.'  Under the caption it had pictures of different cars with Xs through them, last of which was a school bus.  

"Yeah."  Ginny rolled her eyes as Frenchy pushed her out of the room, before she was abruptly turned around.

"What the HELL happened to your face?"

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A/N Notice I capitalized FRENCH FRIES.  I don't really remember when it happened but the US started saying that FRENCH FRIES would now be called patriot fries of something like that because France didn't support them on the war in Iraq.  I sorry but they will always be FRENCH FRIES to me, I don't give a shit to what anyone says.  Anyway, REVIEW!!!!!! 


	3. Guide to Couples Therapy

A/N LALALALALALA, nothing to say now, just REEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!!

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Frenchy kicked back in one of the chairs and was reading one of those cheap biographies with pictures they sold in the joke shop in Hogsmeade.  It was supposedly was the history of the Weird Sisters.  Although, anything that was sold at the joke shop was evidently fake.  It was easy to tell anyway since in the 'biography' the Weird Sisters had them go give Lord Voldemort   (or He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named as they called him in the book) a concert in which they 'Imperius'ed all the death eaters into singing the chorus of 'All Things Bright and Beautiful' as loud as they could.  As much as that idea sounded amusing no one was stupid enough to go to a concert for Lord Voldemort (He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named), and even Lord Voldemort (He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named) wasn't stupid enough to invite the other side to perform a concert in the hideout.  Not to mention, that was just a popular idea that Frenchy had read before in a book called 'Evil Jokes for Evil People.'  Consequentially that book was also sold at the joke shop.  They weren't known for trying out new ideas or originality.  

Ginny was pacing in front of the bookshelves trying to give the impression of looking at the books so that Madame Pince wouldn't throw them out.  She was thoroughly irked at having to wait around in the library instead of cutting right down to the chase and getting Draco hooked.  But noooo, Frenchy insisted on waiting in the library for some stupid reason that she wouldn't tell her.  To pass the time she counted her fingers down to the favorite ways of embarrassing guys.  She would've extended over ten but she didn't have enough experience to come up with more than ten an using your toes to count looked stupid, she'd done it in public once and people kept on asking her why her toes were out of whack.  That was kind of embarrassing.

Compare him regularly with the stereotypes of men and obsess that he isn't manly enough Talk about his childhood in front of people Tape a 'Marry me _______ from _______' sign where everyone can see it. Talk about embarrassing relations Talk about why people broke up with him. Make fun of his religion Obsess over the fact that he is trying to be like one of his arch-enemies, even when he isn't. 

Ginny still had three fingers up but couldn't think of any more ways, it really depended on the person after all.  These were just the general ways, for each guy there were other ways of embarrassing them.  

"You know if you flip down a certain two fingers the books will feel disrespected."  

Ginny snapped her hand back to her side and turned to look at Frenchy who was paying no special attention to anything but her book.  Somehow from first coming into the library she had switched books and was now reading something about the Chudely Cannons, another joke shop biography, yet again playing with the idea of humiliating the Death Eaters as well as Lord Voldemort (He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named).

"Yes, well I'm sure the books will be sooo offended.  They'll be flying off the shelves and next thing you'll know Madame Pince will be having her ass bitten off by all the books pulled in by its wonderful fragrance."  Ginny looked disgruntled and plopped herself down in the chair directly across from Frenchy letting her fingers tap violently against the polished surface of the table.  

"Let me guess, it smells like liqueur?  And how would you know that?"  Frenchy continued reading with a small smile twitching on her lips along with a tic in her cheek.  

Ginny frowned.  "Are you always this taken with your intelligence?  Madame Pince is so full of crap that I'm sure her ass would smell exactly the same.  Or maybe she has a disease that makes her ass rot."

Frenchy pulled up her black book bag that was slung over the back of her chair.  It lay slumped without starch on the table between them.  Little pieces of paper poked out of the opening.  Ginny couldn't believe that Frenchy actually had papers in her bag, how could she have enough time to study?  Frenchy started to part through the papers as if she were looking for something.  "Oh, fuck it."  Her eyebrows scrunched together and she tipped the bag over so that all its contents spilled over on the table.

Ginny leaned over and snatched one of the books.  "Guide to Couples Therapy?  That's weird.  What's this supposed to be?"  The book fell open on the seam down the middle, the page that was titled 'Sexual Happiness."

Still going through the mixture of oddities on her desk, the flop haired brunette glanced up at the book that Ginny was reading.  "Oh, that.  Consider it the guide book to torture."

Ginny's ginger colored eyebrows raised as she pinched her fingers on either side of the spine and flipped it around to face Frenchy, she was still on the 'Sexual Happiness' page.  "You scared Ron with these 'techniques'?"

"No, no, we only got as far as the gay section."

There was a drastic difference on Ginny's face as she dropped her jaw.  Sure she had called guys gay before, after all that fit under the whole 'macho man' thing.  But she had never thought that there would be a particular study of it.  Maybe she would write a book sort of like it, on the study of things not to do to men. 

 Frenchy had to grin at the change of Ginny's expression as she continued.

"That's on page one if you want to read it.  It goes into the whole not being in denial thing.  I think I really got your brother when I introduced him to Gwen as my 'gay' boyfriend.  That was one of the parts of being happy with your relationship, being truthful.  Not that that was true.  I just decided that whatever the book had a cure for the guys would have.  There're cures for gayness, looking at other girls, understanding each other," Frenchy took a long breath, "It goes on and on, just look in there.  In fact, just keep it; I have practically memorized the whole thing."

The lush red cover of the book was snapped together to sandwich the thin white paper between both sides.  Ginny smiled and dropped it into her own bag that was also draped over the back of that chair.  "So, why are we waiting here?"  

"We're waiting for Brenna to show up so we can talk to her about our idea."

"Oh, great, waiting for a Slytherin."  Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Oh, great, waiting on a Slytherin."  Frenchy said in a mock imitation of Ginny, who kicked her from under the table.  

Frenchy began laughing, which made the red head scowl ferociously.  If there was any one particular thing that was really annoying about Frenchy it was that she laughed at Ginny's goes at hurting her.  Every single time she laughed, every time.  For an action that seemed to have no intention to be mocking it was the one that mocked her the most.  Ginny scowled even harder at her.  Unexpectedly there was an appearance of pure terror that was slowly growing on Frenchy's face, at something behind Ginny.

Ginny spun around in her chair to see what it was that was freaking Frenchy out so badly.  Without warning the tip of her nose whacked against something, with the whack sound included.  Which hurt more then people said.  

"OH, FUCK!  FUCK!  FUCK!!!!!"   Ginny leaned back to look at who as talking.

It was a girl who was shaking hers hands at the same level as her head, like she had just been accused of something and she was refusing that she had done it.  Her eyes were a shade of brilliant green that were brought out even more because her shirt was the exact same color.  The shirt had a white out line of a snake.  Although Ginny thought that it probably would've been more appropriate if the shirt had said fuck on it, from their rather sudden introduction Ginny concluded that the extent of the girl's vocabulary seemed to be yes, no , and fuck.

Frenchy laughed at the girl's introduction, but mentioned for Ginny to introduce herself.

"Oh, hello, name's Ginny."

"Of course, Draco's told me all about the famous Wealseys.  The red hair.  Cool."  She shoved her hands into her pockets and seemed unsure of what to do.  "Oh, my name's Brenna."

"Hi fuc- I mean Brefu- Brenna."  Ginny smiled.

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A/N No particular plans for next chapter.  But I can assure that Draco and Ginny will be getting together.  HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEh……………………………


	4. Lipstick Tube

A/N For those who don't know the British vocabulary when it says 'fag' I am not referring to men clad in feminine apparel, I'm talking about cigarettes.

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"Fuck him, he's a real fucking idiot.  He keeps on going on and on about how he's going to fucking rule the world after he puts the Dark Lord's knickers in a fucking twist so much that he fucking starts to squeal like a pig.  Not a pleasant fucking picture, then again it seems like it wouldn't take much to do that.  If anything squeals like a pig it's his little lipstick tube.   Literally if it weren't part of his anatomy I would say it's cute but it's an actual fucking device-"

Ginny cleared her throat in embarrassment, her cheeks flushed, matching the color of the mosquito bite that Frenchy had spelled off.  Already she had become quite certain that her original interpretation of Brenna being someone obsessed with the word fuck was correct.  If Brenna was going to be a permanent addition to the group at least she knew what to get Brenna for Christmas.  

"Uh," Frenchy paused as she became aware of Ginny's embarrassment, "Well, that was a useful piece of information.  Can you tell us more of what he doesn't like?"

"Oh, right."  Brenna looked a bit downcast at having her rave interrupted and redirected.  As soon as her expression became blank it brightened up again.  She held up a case of Marablo.  "Do you mind if I light a fag?"

"It's against school policy to smoke in the building."  Frenchy stated.

"I'm not smoking, I'm lighting my fag."  Brenna tossed her waist length super straight hair over her shoulder and deliberately pulled a long white cigarette along with her English flag lighter.  Her thumb pushed on the lighter but the fluid didn't produce a flame.  That caused her to growl in rage.  "Fuck, Does any one have a fucking lighter that I can use?"

There was no response to that.

"There is something just not right about no one smoking.  It's physically bad for you not to smoke.  Not to mention people who smoke are twice as friendly as people who don't."  The cigarette was still clenched between her lips, which looked exactly like Monica Bellucci's, moved up and down at a frantic pace when she talked.  It also made every word that come out of her mouth muffled.   For a moment she forgot that her cigarette wasn't lit, she took a long drag of it.  "Fuck it!"  She chucked the packet at one of the book shelves.  "Draco always had a working lighter, but he didn't have one on the day he dumped me.  I should've known.  I should've dumped him when I knew he wasn't carrying a lighter.  That's always the first sign that they aren't worth my time.  His lighter worked so well…. I'll have to take it back the next time I run into him.  It smelled like a good fuck in Paris-"

Ginny flushed again but cleared her throat insistently.  

Brenna jerked her head towards Ginny then rolled her eyes and started up again.  "Right, straying off topic."  She smiled unconvincingly although now she was getting pissed.  "Well, he does have an annoying habit off acting like Harry Pothead when he thinks no one is looking, but he won't admit it.   A few times I've caught him coming out of the boys' dorm with a lighting shaped line on his forehead made out of lipstick.  That's a fucking double bad thing.  Lipstick AND acting like Harry Pothead.  He's supposed to be a Slytherin, not a faggot."

Frenchy and Ginny glanced at each other without saying a thing.  It was evident that one of them knew exactly how to carry it off and the other wanted to run, or at least duct tape Brenna's Monica Bellucci lips shut before they said the word 'fuck' again.  The white cigarette was still bobbing up and down as she talked; it was almost as if she had forgotten it was there.  There was a sharp contrast from what Ginny thought Slytherins were supposed to be like and what Brenna was like, of course Draco was really her model for the Slytherin standard.  Slytherins were supposed to despise anything that was muggle; object, person, or idea.  Then there was Brenna who wore normal muggle clothes and smoked muggle cigarettes.  She had absolutely no control over her tongue and seemed almost as if she had a case of Tourette, except it was only for the word 'fuck'.  Maybe actually she could be better described as someone with Alzheimer's disease, people with that disease sometimes forget words and tend to remember the cuss words the most vividly. 

"So let me get this straight, Draco has been imitating Harry Potter?  How long?"  Frenchy was on the hot trail.

"Oh I don't know, ever since I've been fucking dating him.  Or should it be just dating?  Never really got the chance to fuck him, that fucking Pansy acts like she's his whore.  Haha, fucking whore, never realized that's what she was……"  A musing expression settled on her face.  The cigarette stilled for a moment and Brenna's breath stopped, almost as if she were about to take another long drag.  She took the cigarette out of her mouth and chucked it at the bookshelf so that it fell exactly on top of the cigarette case.  "He was always a weirdo but he suddenly got really strange right before he dumped me.  It was on the day of the dance, fucking bastard."

Ginny looked positively absurd now, and it wasn't the usual embarrassment.  

"Oh, I'm sorry, I think I have a wedgie." 

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A/N How's it going peoples?  Nothing here, nothing ever.  Hehehehehehehehehehehe……  Please review my freakish story, I've got it all planned out.  The ending is going to be hilarious.    


	5. Two Way Converstaion With Ginny

A/N Sorry it took me so long to update, but I hope you guys like the chapter!

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Ginny was no were near being ready but somehow Frenchy had forced her into the open.  The rings of black around her eyes were only half done she wasn't wearing mascara the lip gloss that used to cover the frame of her lips perfectly was smeared over the top of her mouth, plus it was drying out at a rapid pace.  If she had had more time Ginny would have spelled it into perfection but her wand was having a nice snug time snuggling in the bottom of her trunk while she had to create blisters on her heels.  To add to that she had no time to style or even brush her hair.  The only thing that made her time bearable was that she was wearing her favorite shirt, a short sleeved white shirt white red and black spray painting designs and white-netted longer sleeves.  The reason for this messiness?  Draco was supposed to come down this hallway in a few minutes and Frenchy wanted to start immediately.  

Ginny growled at the gray stone walls with bared teeth that resembled her frustration.  The muscle in her cheek twitched, if she saw Frenchy any time soon she would probably haul her off and beat the shit outta her.  There was also the possibility of publicly humiliating her but there was no chance of that, she never got humiliated at anything.  Ginny shrugged, killing her would just have to do.   Just how to do it was the question.  Decapitation was definitely at the top of her list, it meant that she could keep her head as a trophy and use it for a bean bag, but stabbing her with stilettos was tempting.  Suffocating her with a trash bag over her head was a good idea, but then she wouldn't be able to see her face.  That was ruled out.  Verrrry tricky.

This was getting very boring, she had already been there for the past 10 minutes and he hadn't showed up yet.  That wasn't how it went, Ginny was the one who was supposed to be late, the one who ran into the guys just at the right time.  It was now that they get to pick the trophy, now that she had to wait forever just waiting for him to show up.  Fun did not go in that definition for Ginny.  Fun was supposed to fill up every living second.  This was definitely not fun.

Boredom took over, at least for the moment.  Ginny found a window to look at her reflection.  She looked like eggs sunny side up, melted and yellow.  She drew her fingers through her loose curls and made a feeble attempt at fixing her hair, it wasn't very successful.  The curls popped right back up into place like they had never been touched.  It was the most she could do not to scream.  She went right along with it though and twirled a finger through her hair.  

"So Draco." She purred, "I heard you got an enema."  

That caused her to slap her forehead abruptly.  "Bad Ginny, very very very very bad Ginny."  She looked down at her feet and then slumped herself against the wall to try a different position.  

"Draco, baby, when's the baby due?"  

Her lips snapped together as soon as it came out.  "I shouldn't go into it too much there."  I would be a real shocker if Draco really had a kid, not a good question to ask to make acquaintance.  Ginny shook her head at the thought.

"Yo sucka, I gonna beat the brains out of you.  It's gonna come outta your ears like jelly, very very brown jelly."

That was a smiler Ginny laughed at the thought.  This was actually fun.

"Draco, do your butt cheeks have fun riding each other?"

"Why do you stare at other guys chests?  It's not like there's anything there."

"Are you gonna answer my question, uh?  You gonna answer it?"

"I hope a ton of cement goes up your dick and stays there."

"I said wee wee baby, wee wee."

"I BET IF I SHOVED A POUND OF COAL UP YOUR ASS AND TWISTED IT WOULD BECOME A DIAMOND!"

"EVER WONDER WHO MICHAEL JACKSON KISSES GOOD NIGHT?  WELL IT'S RATHER OBVIOUS SINCE YOU HAVE PLASTIC BITE MARKS!"

Ginny took a breath, that was definitely fun.  But it was already getting tiresome.  "Alright Ginny, want something new?  Lets do a two way."

She composed herself and did the signature slouch she was so good at.  "Oh, baby, where's the garbage disposal?"

Her hair whipped around as she made a turn.  "It's out back with the electric banana."

She made another turn.  "No, it's standing right in front of me."

"This is my house I know where things are better then you know yourself."

"Nu-huh."

"Uh-huh."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

"If I could make you I would but I can so I will but you can't so there's no point and you are an ASSHOLE you can't change that so that leaves me with making you which I could and I would make you but I can so I will but you can't so there's no point and you are an asshole you can't change that so that leaves me with with making you which I could and I would make you but I can so I will but you can't so there's no point and you are an asshole you can't change that so that leaves me with with making you which I could and I would make you but I can so I will but you can't so there's no point and you are an asshole you can't change that so that leaves me with with making you which I could and I would make you but I can so I will but you can't so there's no point and you are an asshole you can't change that so that leaves me with with making you which I could and I would make you but I can so I will but you can't so there's no point and you are an asshole you can't change that so that leaves me with with making you which I could and I would make you but I can so I will but you can't so there's no point and you are an asshole you can't change that so that leaves me with with making you which I could and I would make you but I can so I will but you can't so there's no point and you are an asshole you can't change that so that leaves me with with making you which I could and I would make you but I can so I will but you can't so there's no point and you are an asshole you can't change that so that leaves me with with making you which I could and I would make you but I can so I will but you can't so there's no point and you are an asshole you can't change that so that leaves me with-"

"Bite me."

"Trust me if I had wanted to I would've a long time ago but you taste really bad, you haven't taken a shower in weeks."

"I took a shower yesterday."

"Yeah, what?  In piss?"

"Well it didn't smell real good and it was a little yellowish but I'm pretty sure it was water."

"You piss for your own shower."

"That's not true!"

"Pisser."

"Midget."

"Lipstick tube."

"That wasn't fair!"

"Well it is true!"

"That really hurts."

"YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE!  OF COURSE YOU GET HURT WHEN YOUR TESTOSTERONE GLAND GETS MUTILATED!  GET USED TO IT!  IT'S BETTER THAN HAVING IT CHOPPED OFF COMPLETELY ALTHOUGH IN YOUR CASE I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND IT!  IT'S SO SMALL YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE!"

"YOU'RE KILLING IT!"

"DIE YOU STUPID INCH WORM!  YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE A SHAGGER!"  

"I CAN FEEL IT GOING, IT'S DYING, YOU'RE KILLING IT!

Ginny paused for breath, while panting in quick gasps.  This could practically be considered a sport, you got exercise, there's lots of yelling, but there were no rules.  She smiled, maybe Draco wasn't going to be so bad.  This exercise made her feel like talking with him already.  Although maybe not in the seductive way, maybe more in the way that she wanted to 'talk' with Frenchy.

"Are you alright?"

Ginny jumped like a startled deer and froze, almost afraid to see who it was, because it definitely wasn't her who said that.     

~^***^~^***^~^***^~      


End file.
